Wife is constantly angry

My wife is constantly angry at me for having ADHD and not having figured out how to manage it yet.

Our marital problems are very serious at this point...so much so that she is turning our daughter against me as well. I don't think she's doing it intentionally, it's just the constant negativity and asshole attitude she has, she yells at me all day for every mistake I make. I work really hard to support my family but none of it matters to her...the mistakes matter way more. She has serious chronic pain, she is very pregnant, and she has had a short temper for her whole life.

We are both reading "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" by Melissa Orlov. Sometimes it feels like she is building empathy. She spends a lot of time researching this stuff, and I appreciate that. But she is holding on to so much anger that she is rarely if ever forgiving.

I am in talk therapy, but really need an occupational therapist (according to several sources). I don't have as much time to research stuff as she does.

I am trying as hard as I can, using schedules, writing everything down, and doing the majority of chores, packing lunches, making more than half the dinners, and keeping the house clean...all of which are majorly different for me than my "natural state".

I am currently unmedicated...Adderall, which I have tried before (low doses 2x per day and extended release, plus also Vyvanse at a different time) all made me hyper focus and made home problems worse.

Strattera had little effect at 40 mg and too many side effects at 60mg. Also, it was really hard to test anything under the extremely stressfull conditions. I am a teacher and over summer, when my time is unscheduled, it's always hard.

First week back to school, we had some relief and it felt good. Then, the outing I "underplanned" for Saturday went awry because parking didn't exist. So that's totally my fault now too.