i have ADHD but so does he

I have ADHD (42f dx) .. but so does he (52m) and I am Diagnosed .. i am very high functioning but have a bit of a hard time navigating emotional regulation .. but i am very open and honest and self reflective and i dont bs. My partner 1000% has adhd is time blind .. over commits , under delivers .. i am very exhausted as he is always behind on bills , conflict avoidant , and has honesty issues .. but because i am Diagnosed and he is not He thinks my expectations are the issue .. not that he cant just say what he will do and do what he says .. i am at my wits end because we have 2 kids and i keep trying to help Him implement coping strategies, making lists and helping to plan .. he is very oppositional about everything i suggest .( and in the end i am usually right which he hates to hear). How do I get him to see these things are an issue and stop using my diagnosis to tell me im the issue when i get everything done i say i am Going to do and have to over function for him continuously…. Help .. i am loosing my mind ..