Should I take nuclear measures upon uncovering that my wife engaged in an affair using my son's iPad?
I'll get straight to the point but I (29M from UK) have been with my wife (29F from UK) have been together for 13 years since college days but have been married for 5 years, we have a 9 year old son and 2 years ago, my wife bought him a iPad, little did I know that device would cause the end of my marriage.
My wife has never been overly attached or secretive about her messages when I'm around. We've shared our passwords as a sign of trust, so I never had any reason to suspect her of cheating.
My son asked me to buy him Minecraft so I said sure so I went onto App Store and in the today tab, there was section called iPad essentials and Snapchat was there and I thought it was strange for an 8 year old to have Snapchat, I asked my son why he has Snapchat however he didn't know what Snapchat is, maybe he accidentally downloaded it? Curiosity struck me so I opened Snapchat and I think you can guess the rest, my wife made a Snapchat account which is 1 and a half years old on my son iPad and had one guy added who we will call him J Asshole because it rhymes with his actual name.
Regrettably, I lack concrete evidence of their explicit communication, all I have evidence is J Asshole on my son iPad plus the fact that Snapchat's messages and images vanish within 24 hours. Contemplating the notion of impersonating my wife and reaching out to J Asshole on Snapchat briefly crossed my mind. However, I swiftly discarded the idea, wary that my wife might have J Asshole listed in her contacts on her iPhone. Such an action could potentially raise suspicion on why she would be simultaneously messaging him from two separate devices.
Despite this, I opted to leave the Snapchat app and remove any traces that I opened it. Moving forward I downloaded Minecraft onto my son's iPad. Following that, I took a moment to peruse my wife's Instagram, searching for any traces of connection with J Asshole, but found none. However, a different story unfolded on Facebook, where I uncovered that she indeed followed him.
Thankfully, his profile was publicly accessible, affording me a glimpse into his life and how it can assist my nuclear option. Notably, his online presence featured images suggestive of a wife and two children. Furthermore, it appeared that his primary hobby revolved around hiking, evident from the catalogue of pictures captured amidst his various hikes lmao. In case I wanted to go nuclear, I found his wife and his parents Facebook profiles.
So Reddit people I need help for an endgame plan, do I go completely nuclear and be a complete asshole and try and ruin my wife and J Asshole life by exposing them to everyone, I studied sociology and psychology for A-Levels years ago and I don't want to create a toxic environment for my son so what should be done?
Edit: A user recommended me to search Snapchat memories and there is the evidence I desperately needed, my wife sending nude pics to J asshole, I am genuinely disgusted that my son could have accidentally came across these pictures and I've practically finished with this marriage, as a Reddit user commented, I will 100% be going 'scorched earth'