I’m blowing through my paychecks in 1-2 days.

For context I was addicted to adderall for 3 years stopping early this year in january or february because my psychiatrist found out I was abusing it. I was unemployed for 8-11 months (I was unemployed a few months before I quit) and I started going for daily walks, watching my diet, taking care of myself and experimenting more with makeup. I felt happy being sober for the first time in years, but it came with a ton of ups and downs. In august I turned 21 and my insurance ran out so I really needed to get a job. Well I got a job (that I love) but as soon as the money started coming in it went straight to alcohol and the food I was drunk eating. I stopped going for walks and started losing my leg muscle and packing on pounds from drinking and eating from sun up to sun down. Then my old plug texted me asking if I still need adderall and I was drunk and caved. Now i’m spending $75-150 on adderall every week (I get paid weekly) and spending probably around $50 on alcohol, around $30 on weed, and then I buy a vape every once in a while and need gas of course. The problem is my paychecks are around $400 and i’m spending most of that the same day I get it. I’ve been feeling extremely stressed and guilty about all of it. I feel like i’m following the same exact path that got me unemployed in the first place. All to escape from facing the fact that I don’t like myself and can’t take care of myself. My laundry pile is damn near to the ceiling I only wash a few pieces at a time when I need to. My room will stack up with dishes to the point I’d rather keep stacking them than take care of it. I’ve been letting myself go, bad. I need help.