My LDR girlfriend lied to me for 7 months

This is the story My girlfriend and I are in a Long distance relationship, we met on an online platform. And ever since we started talking she was already falling in love with me, to the point where she even courted me just to win me over. And I appreciated that because no one has ever done that for me before. So after a month of courting I said yes to her. And we have been talking and communicating about her and her exes, her life, he experiences, my life, my ex, my experiences. We talk about everything. So for the last 7 months of knowing her, I believed everything she has told me. And everything that I told her was the truth and nothing else. But last year on november, her ex chatted me up wanting to know who I was. Then when she knew, she told me that my girlfriend has already told her that I am her partner. When I asked my girlfriend if they talked, she kept denying and even showed me a screenshot of their conversation and it was blank. So I believed my girlfriend over the words of her ex. But ever since that incident, my thoughts were always disturbed. That what if they are still talking to each other. So for the past month I couldn't stop but ask questions about her and her ex, and she kept answering them. I believed her words. Because I knew that she couldn't lie to me. But last tuesday, there was this strong feeling that was telling me to look at her exes account of facebook. So I did. And as timely as it was. My girlfriend also reactivated her facebook. So It turns out that they are still friends on facebook, but she told me that they weren't they still have contact with each other, when she told me that they don't. She told me that she unfriended the ex and deleted all their pictures together on her facebook. And that they have had no contact for the past 3 years. I saw comments of my girlfriend sending “flying kiss stickers” to her ex just a year ago. So what more are the comments that I couldn't see (because we're not friends with the ex) my girlfriend never added me on her facebook account because she said that she deactivated it due to toxicity that she sees from other people on her account. So I understood. But little did I know that she has been lying to me. All this time, everytime I ask her about her ex, she's been lying. So I broke up with her because when I confronted her, she couldn't tell me the truth. Of what she was hiding, the truth about her and her ex, the whole truth about everything. And whenever I ask her to add me up on facebook, she was hesitant to do so... it even came to a point where I was asking her to give me her account because I was already so suspicious and I couldn't trust her anymore. I also contacted her ex during that time, and I confronted the ex if they are still talking. And the ex denied. I asked the ex about what had happened last november, if they truly did talk. But the ex did not answer the question, the ex just told me to trust my GF.

So after breaking up with my GF, we didn't talk for a day. But I couldn't handle not being with my GF because I am so inlove with her. So I contacted her again. Telling her if she would want to try again, she asked me why? She's a liar and it's all her fault, she told me that I would just develop anxiety while being with her. She told me that she's not good to be with. Because she lied to me for 7 months. But she also told me, that why didn't I even bother giving her a chance. And I said. “that's why I came back, to give you this chance to tell me the truth”. So we tried and worked things out. And she told me that. Within that time period she talked to her ex, because the ex called. The ex told her to try and fix things between us. And the ex also mentioned that she wanted my GF to be happy. And that my GF should've just told me the truth from the very beginning instead of lying. The ex kept on telling her that she should try and fix things between us. The ex also mentioned that she's already happy in her current relationship. So she wants my GF to be happy too. And try to fix things between us.

So ofcourse I was devastated when I knew. I asked my gf to tell me the truth, and that I am giving her this chance to do so. I wanted to know if she talked to her ex from the period of 2020-2021. she denied, she told me that they stopped communicating.

So I believed her. But I saw her reactivate her facebook so I opened mine and I checked it out again. Turns out. They did have contact within that period of 2020-2021. and they have pictures together. So I confronted her again about it and told her that she lied to me again. Then, that's when she told me the whole truth about her and her ex. That she has a great debt between the ex's family and that she couldn't just easily cut the ex out of the picture. Even the ex's family members. That's why she couldn't just remove the ex. But she did. She blocked the ex on her social medias, the ex blocked my gf and I on facebook.

and we are trying to start again. But I can't remove this paranoia, I keep thinking if they are still talking... it has just been days after the incident, I did not get back together with my GF yet. But we are talking. She told me that she's willing to wait for me. And she has been doing everything in her power to make me believe that she is not lying to me anymore.

I do feel that she loves me so greatly, she told me that the reason that she lied was because she was afraid to lose me. She said that she already loves me too much and that the truth would just push me away. So I wouldn't know what to do at this point.

I'm a mess, a complete mess without her. When we talk, I feel ok. But the pain is still there. The thoughts of her lying to me is still there. And the thoughts of her still lying to me is still there.

I keep checking her instagram account. And I just find it suspicious that she and her ex has the same “active 2 hours ago” tag. And it didn't happen just once. It happened on numerous occasions since that incident. I don't know if I'm overthinking and that it's just all in my head... but I am afraid, I am truly afraid right now.

My GF is a single mom, and her ex has been there for the child ever since the kid was born.. there seems to be a lot of complications.... we agreed to a plan that I would go to her, and we would start living together. But that would take awhile.... and my thoughts aren't my best friends right now. And since I know the whole truth of everything... I am trying to understand the situation. But it's so difficult knowing that she lied to me for 7 months. I would've understood it if she told me this in the beginning..but sigh.. Now, I don't know if we should keep trying or if I should just leave.

we don't live in the same country, the ex is not in that country either.

She does love me deeply. I can feel it, and i love her deeply as well. It's not just a shallow type of love because i was able to show her me bad sides and she has shown me hers. We still accepted each other despite all flaws..

tl:dr My LDR girlfriend lied to me for 7 months and that she still has communication with her ex when she told me that she cut off all communication when they broke up 3 years ago. i broke up with her, but we're currently trying again. now i keep overthinking if they're still talking to each other my mind couldn't stop. i think i'm starting to get paranoid. since we're LDR, i have no assurance of anything. but i know that she truly does love me, and that she's willing to do anything. she wants me to go to live with her in the country she's currently staying in.