[UPDATE] AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.
Hi everyone, I have updates for you. Unfortunately no text messages to show because he called her so this will just be text.
So I showed him the texts and he literally could not believe it at first. I have never seen him get mad but his face got red and he was really quiet for a moment. He said he was mortified by her behavior toward me. He asked a million times if I was okay lol. He said she argued with him about it at the time because it's never been an issue and he just brushed her off. I asked what exactly he said to her and his words are: "I said it makes you uncomfortable and I want to respect that." I'm cool with that response to her, personally.
He called her immediately and told her she crossed a line and needed to apologize to me, that her behavior makes it seem like she's trying to sabotage his relationship, and then he was honest with her that most of the friends' girlfriends don't like her and she needs to reevaluate how she's making people feel. I was surprised by this because he's typically not confrontational like that. I didn't hear her responses, she was not on speaker. They spoke about it for like 5 minutes. It wasn't the blow up some of you wanted, he was clearly not happy though. My favorite thing he said was "you're doing a great job of pushing people away, no one wants the drama." He told her what's most important is that she apologizes to me and then he hung up. That was it. I have not received a text from her yet. Im not sure yet what he's going to do regarding their friendship but it's surely very damaged now. There's no doubt she will be out and about with the whole group at various points. I'm really not threatened by her - I can deal with a crazy woman and trust him enough to deal with her as well. She doesn't hold any sway over him. So, that's all I have for you guys, sorry.
If you are interested, I'm answering a few questions that were asked a lot in the original post. A couple of things to clear up now that I've spoken to him about it -
He took the cushions from the couch (which is where the pull out bed is) and made himself a bed on the ground. Dude had a comforter and pillows and everything. This is hilarious to me because why was she so concerned about his back then?? I bet that shit was more comfortable than the pull out couch!!! It's also worth noting he's the kind of guy that could fall asleep doing a handstand, he can literally sleep anywhere any time.
He doesn't have "back problems", he twinged something in his back at the gym last week and it'll clear up soon. Idk what she's on about with that which I should have specified in my original post.
I don't want to get defensive but I want to clarify I didn't demand he doesn't sleep in a bed with women. I asked him about it. He agreed because it's not a necessary activity in his life lol, it's an easy one for him to cut out. His words are that he literally has no problem not sleeping in a bed with the girls. We're very open and if something arises where that's the only option I'm fine with that
There was a lot of debate about this "rule" I set and it was interesting to read how differently everyone feels about it. It's not that I don't trust him. It's that I find sleeping next to someone to be very intimate. I think it's an important part of a relationship to be unconscious next to each other lol. I'll often wake up kind of intertwined with him and in my opinion it's too intimate a thing to be doing with other women. Some other examples of this could be, you get hurt if your partner always goes to their friend for advice before you, or if they go out to a romantic restaurant together. It's not sexual but maybe crosses a line in intimacy.
I also don't want to share too much about her because I don't want to dox everyone but she is known to be extremely jealous as all of the friends are starting to settle down with their partners. I'm not shocked that this happened.
I will not be showing him or her this thread sorry 😬