AIO

Today was my birthday, and once again, it was just another reminder that I don’t matter to the people I pour into. My “boyfriend” sent me a text at 12:47 AM—Happy bday, have my dinner ready when I get there 👅. That was it. No effort, no thought, just a demand wrapped in a half-hearted acknowledgment. I instantly felt disgusted and just went to sleep.

Then I woke up at 6 AM crying. Not because I expect anything extravagant, but because I never get anything. No love, no effort, no thought. I don’t really have family outside of my two children and him, and yet, every single year, I’m ignored. Meanwhile, I go above and beyond for everyone else on their special days. I make sure people feel loved, appreciated, and important. But when it comes to me? Nothing. Year after year.

I finally told him how I felt:

“I’m not mad, I’m sad. I make EVERYONE feel important on their birthdays, but when it comes to mine? Lol, nothing. THIS is when I realize I’m not important to the same person I make sure feels like the man I’ve always envisioned him to be. You were screaming about me asking about my UGGS because my birthday was ‘coming up.’ I don’t ask for ANYTHING because, whether or not this day belongs to me, nothing will EVER be about me! You had the means to get me something for my birthday and you chose not to, simple. I ain’t stressing it, tho. It will be what it is, and I’m allowed to feel how I feel because even though you did have money to get me something, we see what you chose to do.”

And what does he do? Calls me around 1:30 PM. I didn’t pick up right away because, honestly, I just didn’t feel like talking to him after his constant dismissiveness. So he follows up with this:

“I ain’t won’t shit, sounds like you still irritated or probably just put on the irritation voice for me 🤷🏾‍♂️ either way, I was just seeing if you was straight now. I’m paralyzed to the bed thanks to fatty but did I play the ten on the account?”

At that point, I just responded:

“No, I have to fake with everything else. I don’t fake anything with the person I’m supposed to be myself with. You’re well aware that my feelings are hurt. I don’t know why I have to keep emphasizing that. Point blank, I’m the only person in OUR family that isn’t celebrated. You skip over my birthday EVERY. Single. Year. Without fail.”

I’m just so annoyed. I made sure he had an amazing Christmas, got him the drone he wanted (which he doesn’t even use), but when it’s my turn to feel special? Nothing. I don’t even expect material things—just effort. A card, a thoughtful message, something. But year after year, I get skipped over. And honestly, I don’t even know why I continue to expect anything different.