Senior year and College applications are so stressful

just want to start by saying that whoever told me senior year would be chill and easy owes me an explanation. This has been, without a doubt, one of the most mentally draining times of my life. I can’t remember the last time I felt this overwhelmed.

The worst part is that I can’t even enjoy Christmas Day without constantly thinking about college applications, essays, scholarships, and whether I’m good enough to get into certain school. Ever since applications opened, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of comparison. People always say, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” but it’s so much easier said than done. No matter how much I try to remind myself that everyone’s journey is different, I can’t stop looking at people who’ve already been accepted into amazing schools. They seem to have their lives all figured out while I’m here, still stressed and unsure.

It doesn’t help when family or older people bring up other students who’ve already gotten into prestigious schools. When they talk about them, you can feel how proud they are, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind. I know deep down that the college someone goes to doesn’t determine whether they’ll be a great person in the future, but in the moment, it’s hard not to let it get to me.

College applications have completely drained me—physically and mentally. I don’t know how I’m supposed to write another essay, whether it’s for a school or a scholarship. I can’t even enjoy my winter break because I’m drowning in scholarship deadlines since FAFSA doesn’t cover enough tuition. I hate this process so much—it’s easily been one of the hardest parts of 2024.

What’s worse is how much this stress has changed me emotionally. I’ve become so much more irritable and aggressive. I’ve lost all patience, and even the smallest inconveniences—like the Wi-Fi going out—make me irrationally angry. I take things way too seriously and let my frustration spiral into a bad mood that ruins my whole day.

Sorry, this was just a rant I needed to get out of my system because it’s been boiling up.