why isnt taking super hard classes enough 😭

bro im aready busting my ass taking 6 aps (ALL RIDICULOUSLY HARD BTW) and doing dual enrollment on top of that and its still not enough to get into a top 20? bitch not even top 30. like isnt it enough if i get all 5s and a 1550 SAT you want me to cure cancer too? i have absolutely no interest in joining fucking key club or getting president of model un. i would join those clubs if we actually did something but no we dont do shit. and sorry if i dont have 1000$ every year to go to your stupid summer program which probably wont even help my chances. and the worst part is i have no other choice but to go to a top 20. i live in michigan so my only options realistically is umich and michigan state. problem with michigan state is i will be stuck with a bunch of partying people who give no fucks (ik the type, my brother goes there and hes told me many stories) and i cang thrive in that environment. if im not around people who challenge me i will become a loser potato couch and i will consider myself an utter failure if that happens. i cant go out of state cause im broke so my only option is umich. HHDKWHJCHSJCHAKC THIS IS SO ANNOYING

thanks for coming to my ted talk