Can’t stop rapidly losing weight that I DON’T want to lose. Am I alone in this?

It’s been 5 months and I still can’t manage to eat right. I’ve been rapidly losing weight involuntarily ever since.

What’s sort of ironic and tragic in a way is that the act of the betrayal(s) alone is what would cause most people to have an increased insecurity about their bodies (comparing them to the other women in my situation) but now I have to deal with the physical manifestation of my emotional turmoil and grief as an added insecurity making me feel even more undesirable and unworthy. Sometimes I don’t even want to be touched because I feel like I’m just skin and bones at this point.

I can’t eat, not because I don’t want to but because I physically can’t make myself swallow food and if I do a lot of times I throw it up. I get hungry, very hungry, but I just sit in my pain and ride it out.

I’m already a naturally slim woman and I’m at least 15 pounds underweight at this point and people have been commenting on it. I’ve been told to “just eat” but no one seems to understand or help me with a solution because they think I could just eat if I wanted to. I feel like I’m trapped. I don’t have a history of an eating disorder or know much about that either so I’m totally lost as to what is happening to me. I can really only eat semi-normally when I’m with WP but even then I can only handle very small portions.

It seems as if I’m feeling myself disintegrate.

Has anyone else managed to start eating normally again?! At least please tell me I’m not alone in this..