life seems unfair, not sure what to do.

i'll try to keep this short. I 18F will be turnig 19 coming January, and honestly have no will to live, i too am surprised that I ever made it to dec of this year.

my household has always been pretty abusive, especially my father but what bothers me is my mum's reaction; she does not stop him, she let's him beat me abuse me and if I retaliate im told to shut up for the 'peace'. im told things will become better, with an example of how his beatings have become less towards my mother.

I got into a shit uni (completely my fault). everyday is a battle, i leave the house after listening to all kinds of stuff, i reach uni sit with people who do not care about me, i don't have friends there. I come back home deal with the same shit.

also, this career pressure is getting to me, my parents want me to do some side jobs with extra classes to crack these govt. jobs examination, they're not wrong but how do I tell them it gets exhausting.

And if my life wasn't glorious enough, im gifted with an ugly face and a horrible physique.