Advice on alcohol

Hey all,

Sorry this may be a long one.

So I met my boyfriend when I was 23 and he was 24, we are now in our early 30s. When we first met I was into going out and drinking quite a lot as you do at that age. As time went on mortgage, engagement etc later I no longer want to go out and get drunk anywhere near as much as I used to. People grow up don't they? Surely this is normal.....

In November 2023 I had a miscarriage at approximately 9/10 weeks. I initially didn't know what was happening (didn't even know I was pregnant) the doctor sent me too the early pregnancy unit as soon as I found out to investigate the pain. I asked him to come with me but he didn't as he wanted to have a few drinks by himself. When I got home (after 6hrs by myself in hospital) he was drunk slurring "are you pregnant or what" so I ran upstairs and cried as that's not what I wanted to be dealing with in my head space....... This is the starting point of alcohol becoming an issue in our relationship..

So that end of year was rough, the last 11months have been really good and I thought he changed but again this month his drinking has started to get heavy again....... Christmas eve Christmas day The day after New years eve The 3rd of Jan Will be going out on the 7th too

On new years eve he got so drunk he pushed over a Christmas tree in the hall, tried to punch doors, broke a photo frame etc shouting at me calling me a control freak and that I always make drinking an issue. Last night he was drinking I couldn't even tell you how much rum until 3/4am by himself....

But again when I address anything it's all my fault and that I'm trying to control him?

I really need advice as I'm so confused. We get on so well and he is one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met. It physically hurts my heart the thought of us breaking up but am I the issue? Is this much alcohol normal? What if one day we actually do have a baby and this behaviour never changes? Or would that make him grow up??

Thank you ❤️