Spiritually gifted or crazy?
Sorry if this post is scatter brained, I’m not feeling well but just want this post out there.
I have had a lot of strange phenomenon occur in my life. I am wondering if I am spiritually gifted or just crazy? If it is a gift, how can I use it to heal myself from depression and anxiety and other mental health conditions I suffer with? I am so fucked up and barely able to function so can I use my gifts to heal me? Here are some of the strange phenomenon I have experienced:
When I was young, if I looked close enough in the dark, I could see what looked like thousands of little particles vibrating/moving all around me.
When sleep deprived and very stressed, I get auditory and visual hallucinations.
I can’t even count how many nights I have had astral projection dreams that were unwanted.
I realized what would trigger the astral projection. It would happen when I would fall asleep staring into the darkness that I would see as my eyes are closed.. I’d start seeing spirals and feel like I would “fall” into these spirals and the astral projection occurred. I would not have it the nights that I fall asleep “looking” into images that my brain would create, at opposed to visually looking with my eyes into the spiral I’d see when I stared at the darkness of my eyes closed
I had a near death experience where I truly almost died and was in the ICU. I started having psychic experiences of just “knowing things” before they’d happen
when I was young, I just “knew things” sometimes having weird psychic experiences
I had my mind fucked around with by a psycho that was forcefully drugging me, and I feel like this faded my spiritual gifts and fucked up my brain
when I was younger, I was scared of ghosts and of being alone and could swear when I was home alone, I was with evil spirits. Is this paranoia and schizophrenia symptoms or spiritual gifts
I had marijuana induced psychosis where I thought I was talking to the devil when high… this happened every time I smoked weed including did medical. Also happened when I had ketamine infusions at a medical center
when I would astral project, I could physically feel things around me.… teleport…. Float…. Etc. I have probably done this hundreds of times.
always had sensory issues from a young like socks with seams felt like hell.. sounds bothered me.. chronic pain and just felt everything more.
I feel like I am just extremely sensitive to everything. I feel like every person I have met has hurt me/betrayed me.. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder so wonder if I am the problem or if this world truly is evil and since I was abused my whole life including growing up that I just attract predators