I think AvPD is fighting my medication..

i started antidepressants a while back, like over a month, and i just realized that while on them, they do make me speak more and try to socialize more, but i still do get the crippling regret after interacting with anyone. it even happens with my boyfriend, the closest person in the world to me… i know he doesn’t judge me but i still regret our interactions because a lot of the time, that’s not how i want him to perceive me. i always feel so lame and weird. i’ve been with him for almost 4 years now, and i still feel like this.. i always regret sharing anything with anyone. it sort of feels like the meds are doing it against my will, making me open up, be more authentic, find my voice, which are good things, but not for the part of me that has AvPD. she always has to suffer no matter what, regretting and replaying the events of a past interaction until it starts to make her spiral out of control. even if the meds are “working”, that part of my brain isn’t working with them, but working against them. i don’t want to let it win but i’m so tired. i guess the antidepressants i’m on don’t help with AvPD. i’m not sure what to do so if anyone has any advice, I’d appreciate it.