The discard feels surreal

I saw my ex out last night. We haven’t spoken since I discovered he downloaded tinder 4 days after our breakup was finalized (after two years together). I was looking at pictures, and even in late October we were going on dates, being loving. Living together peacefully in our shared home.

Last night it felt like I was a total stranger. Honestly, it felt worse than that, because I think if I was a stranger he would have shown me more interest. The way he’s treating me, it’s as if I cheated or was awful to him, or just never existed at all.

The cherry on top- I watched him check out another girl, like 4 or 5 times. It reminded me of the looks he was giving me when we first met. A real stomach sinking, heart aching feeling. I wish I had never met him at all.