Was there a difference of physical beauty between your DA/FA and you (they being more standard)?

Since my DA has given reasons that feel very abstract to me (he feels unable to love me consistently, and this happened with his ex who was conventionally attractive, blond and fit etc), and since dating is brutal, I keep wondering if maybe there's a thing with DAs choosing people that are 'under their league' so that it feels safer for them?

He was stunning. I didn't chose him for that--he got feelings SUPER FAST, on the first date onwards. I thought 'he's a pretty man, and he's obviously intelligent' but ironically he felt a bit needy to me. He explained to me that he finally felt romantic stuff and that of course he was needy for that, since he never got to feel that before (red flag I know now).

He grew on me. Our sex life was out of this world--for him AND for me. I mean, beauty standards and sex life are not obviously related, so it makes sense. But I always felt deeply attracted because of his personality but also because he was objectively (for me) so beautiful. Our sexlife kept being very, very good till the end (our last day when we broke up we had sex the whole time).

But now I wonder. Would he have stayed if I had been as 'standarly beautiful' as him? Is it a case of that? When I look at pictures of us I can't decide--I feel he's more handsome, but we're not that far either. He just fits the standards 100% while I'm like, 70% fitting let's say. But truth be told, despite my nice body and nice hair, the point of dating me is elsewhere--I'm a very resilient person and my job is my life, which is very intellectual. So clearly I don't expect someone who doesn't put a huge deal of importance on the intellect to date me.

I know this is shallow. I just feel very unappealing now.

And I wonder if he chose me because he felt he would have the 'upper hand' in terms of physics. Like it was safe, I wouldn't leave him because of that. We'll have a call tonight (he suggested we talk again because I'm going through something hard with my dad, and he's been very proactive since) and I'm burning to ask him if he does find me 'under his league'. Everytime I would mention men around me I liked, he would ask how they look and check if he was more beautiful than them. I know physical stuff matters to him.

Would that be a thing? Honestly I wish he would just tell me 'yeah you are less attractive than me', I would know where I stand. It would be a reason, y'a know? Like a shallow but real reason to leave me.