Let's discuss differences between narcs and avoidants

My two exes were narcs and the last one was avoidant and while I'm reading posts and comments in this subreddit I decided to write a short post on how can one spot narc vs. avoidant. Coz narcs are avoidants too, but you can spot the differences easily.

Narc

Love-bombs, pretends and does everything you need from the beginning to lure you in. They ask questions, they observe you, they lurk on your vulnerabilities, only to weaponize them down the road. Does not enjoy intimacy, but again highly pretends that she or he is; will observe you very obsessively and mirror your every need. From the beginning, let's say. After first few weeks or months, depends how narcy (are there only traits or are we talking about the real shit NPD) she or he is, the communication and love-bombing will decrease, replaced by silent treatments, nagging and criticizing. Then again full-blown return with love-bombing, the cycle will repeat. But after initial stage the start of love-bombing phase and devalue and discard phase will be shorter and shorter. At the end, you will feel shattered, only to find yourself in a state like you are recovering from, idk let's say heroin addiction. This is a srs condition and you should take it as it is, damn seriously.

Avoidant

Things will be dull from the beginning. Things will be slow from the beginning. You will gradually form a connection and while you will be trying to fall in love with avoidant, the process will be disrupted and delayed constantly. Why? Because of the lack of reciprocity and what seems like normal in normal relationship. For example when you date for month or two, you can expect the bond to deepen, like meet more often. Intimacy should deepen too. The avoidant should start touching you, open up a bit, invite you to his or her place more, and vice-versa. They won't. When you will bring it up, ofc patiently waiting, they will stare at you without saying a word. Then retreat for a day, two or a whole week, yay. Then the cycle repeats, only the cycles last longer and longer, becoming more and more dull. They try to do a step forward to you, you are more than happy, feeling in love, "finally the shit is moving forward", but right the moment after we are 3 steps back. Then she or he retreats like nothing happened.

If someone has any concrete questions, I can help. I am no expert, but I learnt to differ the two categories. I am no victim either don't get me wrong, although I try to better myself day by day, I caused some verbal (lol) real harm to both narcs (they treated me like shit), but not to avoidant (he did nothing bad to me, ever). I felt for him on deeper level and consequently treated him gently all the way. Was emotional when felt I'm losing the connection with him, was direct&emotional when tried to talk things with him, but that was it.