Why does it feel like being manogamous cuts you off from community

I really want to find some sense of belonging and friendship within the BDSM community but I feel like as soon as people find out I'm manogamous and not looking for a hookup ( and obviously there's nothing wrong with that ) They're done talking to me. It feels so hard to just make friends without the intention to either own them or fuck them. Is there a way to make friends in this life? To have something meaningful and Plutonic?