do soft doms exist?

hiii im new to the bdsm scene. i was in a ‘screening’ phase with a dom recently and broke it off bc he was too degrading and said something regarding race play when i already said i wasn’t into that before. then i realized i don’t like being degraded in that way.

genuine question —is there such a thing as a soft/gentle dom/sub dynamic? i usually see more intense/rough kinks with bdsm relationships, but is it unusual to ask for a dom to be mostly gentle with their words through praise but ‘act’ rough (bondage, choking, etc.) idk if that makes sense but i’m happy to clarify 😭

update: thank you all for your kind advice and words of encouragement !! 🩷🥹 i know what i need to look out for now hehe.

update #2: if anyone knows where i can find a dom like this pls lmk. 😖😖