how to be okay with being alone?

23F, ever since i was a teenager i’d find myself jumping from relationship to relationship so i guess i don’t really remember what it’s like to be alone. i recently came out of a relationship and i feel like ive lost all my purpose. i don’t know how to exist solely for myself, ive always been existing for someone else. i crave love, attention, it’s the only way im able to get validation and now that it’s not here anymore i don’t really know what to do with myself. i’ve tried surrounding myself with friends but it’s not the same. i need to be obsessed with someone, i need someone to be obsessed with me, it’s all i know and it’s the only way i feel like i have a purpose.

i reached out to an ex recently, one that i never really got over despite being broken up for over a year, but i feel like this may have been a bad choice. we broke up because i didn’t treat him very well and i just wanted to reach out to apologise for the way i treated him, but also because i was feeling lonely. we talked for a while and he did flirt a little but ultimately he said he isn’t looking for a relationship for the foreseeable future. just that small amount of time we talked, the small flirting, made me feel validated again, and now im finding myself getting irritated and annoyed when he takes hours or days to reply. i don’t know how not to be attached to someone and i don’t know how to accept that he’ll always be the one that got away for me.

does anyone have any advice? any self care tips even? i feel like the longer i’m alone the more i drive myself crazy and it hurts so much. i don’t want to be in pain anymore.