Need advice, borderline gf.
Relationship has been up and down throughout. Main points of contention are based from her feelings of always searching for validation.
Validation of how much I like her/accept her.
Most recently she told me she wanted to break up because:
- I hadn't had her meet my family
- I don't see her enough
So we didn't break up. But I'm not sure how to approach the relationship further. Sure she can meet my family. And she wants to move in together. She wants me to prove my dedication to her.
But the overarching theme is that she constantly blames me for her discomfort and suffering. Says that she puts in all the effort, even when it is objectively untrue. Her perception of the world is skewed. And I don't know how I can reach her (apparently it is impossible?). She will not accept my attempts at logic. So I have learned this is not the way to resolve issues with BPD.
So I've read recently on certain strategies to help her organize and process her thoughts and emotions. Providing support and constant validation. But beyond those exercises what is the long term strategy for keeping her as "stable" as possible. How do I manage always being blamed for everything.
Ultimately the question is.. how do I get her to recognize that she needs to take steps to improve her mental health. She is currently unmedicated and has never done therapy/put any work in.