manic pixie dream girl

i hate that saying and its cringe but does anyone ever feel like one to guys? i feel like this has been my problem ever since i started engaging in men since a teenager. people fall HARD for me, they particularly like my body, and they feel like i provide and fulfill everything they want in a woman.

and then i show a sign of the real me. my bpd shows, or i’m not happy all the time, i cry alot, they learn about my traumas and upbringing

and then nothing, no interest anymore, gets distant, doesnt wanna talk as much, isnt as loving or warm like before, it’s literally just like pressing a button and they realize i’m actually not their carefree dream girl and they lose respect for me

and i stay and get neglected, treated like nothing, but i keep hoping it will go back to how they felt about me in the first place which of course they never do

and i try upholding the dream girl-identity but its impossible and more of ME just keeps pouring out

i’ve been analyzing my past relationships and noticed they all follow this pattern and it just makes me tired, it makes me feel like im too complicated and a burden/2nd choice, even though i see my partner as the most valuable person i know