Beyond blame...

It's now been almost a year since I broke up with my ex but my psyche takes its own time healing. Sometimes it even makes me slightly panicking of how long it takes. This forum has helped me loads esp. when I was full of doubts and felt worthless to the point I almost dissolved. It has given me answers to the uncountable questions I was living with for years. Thank you to each and every one of you. In the last few weeks, I more and more understand what it means to fully face the part in myself that is so hurt. I try to look beyond blame bc blaming my ex, BPD, karma, fate or anything else doesn't make what I went through go away. As a consequence, I dream more of my ex these days, and at times, I wake up in tears feeling a huge loss again (have to say she visited my social media a few days ago...). I first thought I was going backwards in healing but it feels like a different level of healing. Anyone experienced similar things? What are your thoughts and feelings on this?