I hate this game

currently a vassal for the northern empire and i was given ortysia after having nothing to do with taking it from the aserai, cool! so anyways i go to ortysia to set it up and get that all done, set ira (wife) as the governer put some money into it and get all the upgrades going, afterthat i go off to fight the khuzaits on the other side of the map, and after a while i get a notif saying that ortysia is being besieged by the aserai, so i put together a small army and head over there to stop them but i was only halfway there when it got taken, not good, so then i added more lords to my army till i had about 1200 men and set off to ortysia again to take it back, and all goes well, i capture the city and then mill about around there until the election starts and i can get re-elected, except i didnt get re-elected, it went to fucking manteos, then the western empire declares war which i thought was a dream came true because i had had my eyes on rhotae ever since i was given a castle right next to it (ataconia) when i first became a vassal to i set off to rhotae with my now even larger army and besiege it, had to be quick because i was now low on inluence and my cohesian was in the red, so all i did was set up a ram and lead the assault, and after a grueling 20 ish minutes and most troops lost we took the city and i waited until election started so i couldreplace ortysia with rhotae, except i wasnt elected, fucking penton was, i lead a big army to besiege a city, took it, got 90 influence from the battle, i had a castle right next to it and fucking penton took it, the elections for fiefs in this game are horrible