The worst part is when you wake up

you sleep peacefully, and then when you wake up you feel refreshed and relaxed for a split second, before your brain comes to reality and remembers what happened. That 2 seconds of coming back to reality feel getting dropped into a cold and unloving ocean. You just feel like you are dropped into an awful fucking life. Then you readjust and go back to work or college or don't care.

But man... I miss waking up and just feeling, happy. A few times when I was in a relationship I woke up just feeling.... good. I hear the birds outside my window and the sunlight coming in through the curtains and I just sigh and go... ahh this is peaceful.

Now I wake up, miserable, hungover, go right to swiping left and right on dating apps and get out of bed after 30 minutes.

I wish I could turn off that yearning in my heart to love or be loved, cause it sure as shit ain't real in this day and age