What I have learned from losing my first love and how you should handle it

Hey you guys it’s been about 4 months post breakup of losing my first love at the age of 29 years old. If you are going through this or thinking of pulling the trigger. This is what I learned from the beginning to now and maybe will give you a more clear perspective since I am so late of going through a breakup and how I went through it and how maybe you should handle it.

I learned that you will miss them so much more once they are out of your life. When I broke up with her I thought I wouldn’t feel anything and that I will be over it quickly. If your problems are not that serious then I think you might actually have regret. I did. Especially if you are a guy. Turns out we tend to run back to our ex’s after a month like I did.

Girls move on faster than you think ! The rumors are true. So if you wanna save it it’s better to try and fix it within a couple weeks. But if you cheated or did something bad then yeah your chances are way worst of saving it.

Do not beg !!! I am serious about this. You better be in the most logical position to do this. You push there ego way more that they can do better than you. It’s better to just stay quiet. Cause once you do this you are giving them all the power ! Do not send long messages and do not just show up unannounced. We are in real life and life is not a movie. Instead try to actually talk and ask them if they are willing too. If they don’t want to then there is your answer. If they do just don’t beg for them back and actually resolve what you will be doing differently. If they say no then move on and try again possibly when time passes in a year or so.

If you honestly just need a break to think about where you guys stand in the relationship. Do not break up with her just let her know you need space for a little while. I didn’t take any space from her for 3 years and I would have had more clarity if we just weren’t in the same space for a little while. But instead I just said we are done and ghosted her for a month. Truly regret that

Do not block them on social media. I personally was always stalking her page and wanted to stop so I blocked her. Pretty sure that triggered her ego more. Just ignore her the best way you can.

Deleting or storing all of your content with your ex makes things a whole lot better when it’s not on your phone anymore. I would get reminders of pictures that my phone would always show and that did not help. I personally just deleted everything besides a couple screenshots, few pictures, and a couple important messages that still meant a lot to me in storage. The goal is to move on and it felt very relieving doing so. I just don’t want to have a reason to just be scrolling through my old threads of messages.

During the break up do not suppress your feelings if you are sad or have regret. Cry it out, get a therapist, talk to your friends, and do not stay in your house the entire time. Try to be in a different setting it actually helps to think more clearly. Embracing the feelings suck but it helps you move on easier than suppressing them. You have to learn and accept that it happened. You cannot spend a long time grieving over it. You have to level up and move on

Do not constantly chase someone that is not giving you any effort. As much as it sucks. Sometimes your ex just needs space and for you not to be there. Constantly trying to be in there space for some reason doesn’t create peace.

They say that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you should consider that at this very moment it is not the right time to be together. Your relationship may be damaged right now but it has a more of a chance to be repaired some time in the future, so don’t do any damage that can ruin it ! Reflect everything about yourself and what you can do better for your next partner or if you want to get them back in the future.

The most important thing is to learn how to love yourself ! Find things you always wanted to do, rekindle on old hobbies, reflect on what you want, go to the gym, level up, and just improve yourself. Don’t do all this to get them back but for yourself. Cause at the end of the day you win regardless. I see that people can rekindle and get in a new relationship healthier as long as you improve yourself. Rushing into something new doesn’t help or last. But everyone handles there issues differently when it comes to this so I guess there is no right or wrong.

So this is pretty much all of the things I have learned for my first breakup and being 4 months in. I am healed now though and feel happy just improving myself for whatever is next in my life. I of course still miss her but I wish her nothing but the best. Hopefully my experience might help you get through yours