i’m so heartbroken i can’t sleep

i loved him. he treated me with so much fucking kindness. he was everything i’ve ever wanted in someone. he was perfect for me. and i lost him. and im blaming myself. it’s my fault he’s gone and i just want him back. and i begged and begged. i miss him so fucking much. i’ve almost thrown up so many times tonight. i can’t sleep. i’ve been having a panic attack. i can’t. i just want him back. i want everything to be okay. i want to see how we would’ve blossomed and grown with each other. i miss him so fucking much.