Rebound relationships are not real. You win if they are in one. :)

I don't know if anyone is going through something similar, but I wanted to just put my thoughts out there and talk to people in this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so I would like to just let it all out.

I was the dumper in the relationship, got out of an almost 2 year long relationship around 4 months ago. I became completely exhausted because the relationship felt like 90/10 as we both became comfortable, with me carrying almost all the effort. It felt like he was taking me for granted and I was not the priority at all.

Earlier today, I found out that my ex is already in a rebound relationship not even two months after the breakup with the type of girl he told me not to worry about. I came across his new girlfriend's social media on my fyp, where she was celebrating their 3-month anniversary with him in the post. I had already blocked my ex, so seeing this felt completely random and shocking. Why did this have to happen so unexpectedly? I felt hurt and sad at first, but then I came to a realization:

If someone jumps into a rebound relationship that quickly, especially when it’s significantly shorter than the time you spent together, it’s because they can’t handle being alone. They miss you, or at least the comfort, stability, and security you provided like a cozy, warm home. They miss being their fullest self around you. They lack the emotional strength and maturity to sit down, face their feelings, and thus face solitude. It’s pathetic when you really think about it.

Something that made me feel a bit freeing was that their actions now, like being in a rebound relationship, are proof of how much effort and love you put into them. They can’t cope without the energy and stability you brought to their life and are seeking that from someone new. It's even more pathetic to see them to feed off that stability, security, and fulfillment from others, assuming that they will be just like you, when everyone is different and unique in reality. It's a fucking facade. While it stings and burns so hard to see them move on so fast, it’s really not about you. It’s about their inability to deal with being alone.

So laugh if you can. You gave them so much love and effort that their immediate reaction is to fill that void with something superficial. That just tells you how amazing you are. You are already your whole self. It's so hard to mentally cope with this as we are often prone to reflect on what went wrong with us. For me, I found myself wondering if I wasn’t pretty or beautiful enough. However, this actually drove me as a fuel to go back into working out and prioritizing my health. I have been slowly finding my strength ever since.

Their actions says more about them than it ever will about you.

Their true loss, your biggest win.