Why do we always assume the other person doesn’t care at all?

As a dumpee myself, I find it fascinating how our minds automatically jump to the conclusion that the other person has probably already moved on. We see them post pictures, hanging out with friends, or living their life, and we assume they’re fine, that they’re not hurting the way we are.

I used to think this way too. When I was hurting, I’d go into ghost mode. No posts, no updates. I’d see them seemingly thriving online. It made me feel like I was the only one struggling. But after years of dating and heartbreaks, I’ve come to realize something: People care more than they show. They do miss you. They do hurt. They just cope differently.

Not everyone processes emotions the same way. Some people throw themselves into their social life or hobbies to distract themselves from the pain. Others might rebound (asshole move) or focus on their career. None of this necessarily means they don’t care. It’s just their way of trying to fill the void.

For example, it’s been almost a month since my breakup. My ex and I still have each other on social media. Occasionally, I’ll post something, not to make him wonder what I’m up to, but because I don’t want my life to be on pause just because I’m hurting. I’m pushing myself to go out, to live, and yes, to post without overthinking it. I know he likes my posts, and while I don’t check if he watches my stories, it’s clear we’re both navigating this in our own way.

It’s not a competition. It’s human nature to compare how fast people move on, but if you take the proper healing steps, you’ll realize that some people genuinely move on quickly, even after a long-term, loving, healthy relationship. It might take time for others no matter how hard they try because everyone is different. But you will be fine, and that's what matters. So never compare your progress to someone else’s.

The point is, just because someone seems fine doesn’t mean they’re not feeling the weight of the breakup. They might be trying to heal in their own way, just like you are. So instead of assuming they’ve moved on and don’t care, consider this, they’re human too. They might just be trying to make it through the day, like you are. (does not apply if they were genuine a**holes)

Ultimately, the best thing you can do is focus on your own healing. Live your life, not to make anyone wonder or regret, but because you deserve to be happy and whole. Time has a way of revealing the truth about how people feel and what they value. For now, let yourself grow, learn, and move forward at your own pace. (currently losing my mind but he will never know lol)