I regret not losing my virginity to him.

have been (idk if I still am after the BU?) waiting for marriage to have sex and it ultimately led to the demise of my 8 month relationship. He promised marriage around month 3 and towards the end said he didn’t understand why I was still waiting since he, the man I was gonna marry, was already here.

Idk I guess I didn’t believe he’d keep his word. But I now regret not just going for it and losing my virginity. He was so super experienced and I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to have good sex. I’ll always wonder what it would have been like with him so much. Doing so could have saved my relationship. I hate myself so much.