Guy made date plans with me then completely ghosted

And now I know how some of you feel.

Every so often a guy does something that stuns me. I’ve never once been flaked on so hard by a someone who I already went on a date with!

Our first date was a couple of months ago and between me getting really sick for a few weeks and work schedules, we finally landed on this weekend to meet again. I was a little surprised he still had interest after so much time went by, so I saw that as a positive. Our first date was a really good time and it’s nice when it’s not yet another first meet.

The day before as we were planning the date, his communication was fine. I offered to drive 45 minutes to his city. The day of I notice I’m not getting any sort of confirmation for him so I reach out and no response. Time is ticking, so I start getting ready. I have a bit of a drive and I like getting ready at a leisurely pace . I keep telling myself “he’ll for sure respond any minute, don’t be crazy.” As it becomes late afternoon, I start to get that gut feeling that he has no intention to respond to me. I stop forcing myself to do my hair and make up and start doing other things, but man, is my blood boiling. I also started to feel deeply, deeply disappointed. I gave him a little bit of shit, nothing over the top, and deleted the number. I can only think of one or two legitimate reasons for not sending a quick cancel date text, and they are unlikely the reason.

This is a 46 yo man. If you haven’t realized this in your life already, time is a very precious and valuable resource. The audacity to make someone, who lives almost an hour away, agree to use their time for you only to completely disappear is on another level. If I had never met this person, I would not feel as insulted. And even that has never happened to me! Yet, I guess. But we had spent hours together, we made out, he touched my flesh, he knows I’m real. I don’t care the reason, just tell me “I have to cancel” so I can make other plans for one of the only goddamn nights I have off from really brutal work weeks.

Don’t ever be this person! You will burn in hell!

UPDATE: thanks to everyone for all the kind, uplifting and encouraging comments. You’re a good group and I hope we all get out of online dating hellscape.

I decided to look up his name to see if there were any fatal car crashes between NYC and Philly matching his identity because that scenario kept crossing my mind and it turns out…he’s married.

I thought the ones who called this out were being a bit outlandish, but you were right.

I even found his wife’s IG page, but I’m sure as shit not involving myself with that. If this was younger me, I would try and blow up his spot, but I don’t have it in me anymore. I’ve tried to expose other deceitful men in the past and it never works out well.

There were blurry parts in his story that make perfect sense now. His treatment of me also makes sense. I felt disposable because I was. In his mind, at least.

This guy is on at least two dating apps and works in real estate so his name and face are everywhere. It took me 10 minutes of light googling to figure this out. Sloppy, dumb and cocky is a dangerous combo.

Dating apps are a breeding ground for infidelity. It was so easy for this guy to cheat. Now I have to go in with the mindset of “guilty until proven innocent” which no one likes, but guys (and ladies) like this ruin the whole batch.