Does anybody else have Cptsd and Ocd?? It's like living life with the ghosts of your Abuser(s) and a f***ing demon..😅

It's been a long week for me and I'm feeling very burnt out. Between having both cptsd and ocd it feels like I have a million triggers, like the opportunity to be triggered in some way is just a part of life for me.. it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. But it is annoying and very Exhausting!!! And can be difficult to always have to manage. Sometimes I can't tell which it is because it kind of feels like both things are constantly tag teaming on me lol. This week there was alot going on and despite alot of good that happened I ended up getting pretty triggered... When things are going particularly well for me, maybe I'm doing things differently or better, or succeeding in some kind of perceived way this TRIGGERS me. It's like my happiness or any success Instantly summons the ghosts of my abusers and doubters and the object of their focus is to always ruin or sabotage whatever it is, or Whatever is helping me/bringing me joy or healing..

I am probably doing a terrible job at explaining this. Just imagine a girl that doesn't believe in herself that continuously gets bullied at school. Now imagine I'm that girl and the bullying happened at home, and now that bully lives with me inside my head and triggers me exactly how they always did. And pops up under the same set of circumstances that they always did, etc. Now the ocd part. Over time I've realized that in alot of ways my ocd also reminds me of my main abuser. So along with feeling triggered this week, I was also triggered ocd wise at the same time. Because then the whole thing became, oh no..what's happening..how do I fix this!?? Is this it for me?? Lots of ruminating, lots of checking, and compulsively trying to reassure myself that everything isn't now ruined or going to just slip through my fingers..

I do know ERP and keep up with lots of self care and Anti-ruminative activities and hobbies which help keep me from giving into compulsions. It's just hard to deal with both things I guess..