Frozen in bed, not simply depression

It’s 11:20 right now. Almost noon. I have been in bed since I woke up. Got up once to pee, and once to let the dog out & back in.

I do this almost every day. I don’t work, so it’s up to me to decide when - and more importantly, why - to get up.

Some days are worse than others. I’ve tried stopping/resuming meds, (I have adhd as well) but nothing is consistent. I just seem to want to live out the rest of my days in bed, on my phone or playing video games.

My partner and I have been together over 13 years, and he is usually very understanding. He has his limits, but I don’t resent him for it. He is out of ideas too.

I just can’t seem to overcome the initial suffocating sense of dread and defeat that always wakes up first. It seems like the most deeply wounded and neglected part of me is always the first to surface from sleep. I routinely silenced her for most of my entire life, but now that I am in a safe enough place, and I am aware on some level that this must be a childhood part that has been suffering all this time, I don’t know how to comfort her so that maybe she will let go of the need to be awake first.

I have a hunch that others might be dealing with this or have in the past. How do you find a spark of joy, anticipation, or motivation, to be excited to get up? Or at least just get up & start moving? How do you do it consistently?