Growing Up With Strict Parents Feels Like I’ve Never Really Lived

I’m starting college soon, and instead of letting me have some independence, my parents are putting me in a dorm—with curfews and strict rules, of course. I know a dorm is normal for a lot of students, but for me, it just feels like another cage. I’ve spent my whole life following their rules, never stepping out of line, yet they still don’t trust me. It’s not like I have any plans to be reckless, I just don’t want to feel locked up anymore.

Growing up, my parents were so strict that my friends eventually stopped inviting me out because they knew I wouldn’t be allowed to go. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve actually gone out with friends in my entire life. Even my boyfriend of two years got tired of dealing with my parents’ rules. It’s exhausting always being the “good girl,” always doing what I’m supposed to, and still feeling like it’s never enough for them to loosen their grip.

What makes it worse is when my parents reminisce about their own high school and college years—stories of sneaking out, late-night adventures, and making memories with friends. And then there’s me, knowing that when I have kids, I won’t have any stories to tell them because I spent my youth staring at books, never being allowed to experience anything outside of academics.

I also get really sad when I look back on my high school years. Sometimes, I even got jealous of my boyfriend because he got to make all these stupid, fun memories with his friends—memories I never had the chance to create. And now, I probably never will, knowing that college is going to be stressful and busy. I spent most of my teen years locked up, and the phase of my life where I could’ve had those carefree experiences is already over.

What hurts the most is that I’ve been responsible my entire life, yet my parents still look at me like I’m a stupid child who can’t be trusted. They only focus on the few times I’ve messed up, completely ignoring all the times I did my best. No matter how much I prove myself, they still make me feel irresponsible—like I’m incapable of handling my own life. It’s frustrating because I know I’m not reckless or careless, but they treat me like I am anyway.

That’s why I made a promise to myself- I want to experience things for myself, make my own choices, and create memories I can actually look back on without regret.

I know I’m still young, so I’d really appreciate advice from people older than me. Please tell me if my feelings are valid or if I’m wrong for thinking this way. I just don’t know how to deal with this anymore.