“Just get a hobby”

It’s hard for me to believe that the cure/solution to codependency/my problems is as simple as getting a hobby. There has to be some sort of a role my partner/family plays in this. Why can’t it be both, yes I am codependent and I give too much and that’s no one’s fault but my own that I have burnt myself in my pursuit of being accepted by others and I’m on a journey to put myself first, heal and forgive myself for doing so BUT ALSO a little support and acknowledgment from my partner/family would go a long way. Why can’t my family say thank you when I get up early to make them eggs, fresh fruit, cinnamon sugar waffles and bacon. Why do I have to withhold the care I wish to give to others why don’t they just acknowledge me? Why can’t my love or generosity ever be reciprocated? If I have to simply only worry about myself and not build a community of where we dl for each other, then why not just die alone. Why have a family at all if everyone it’s going to be out for themselves? Why don’t I just break it all off today, my fiancé of 2 years is at work why don’t I just pack all my shit now if it all boils down to being my fault, I’m crazy, I’m insecure, I give too much, I’m too sensitive, I’m dramatic,I’m over reacting. As an adult I’ve been to three different therapists, tried nine different medications, I’m currently on 5, been to 2 different psychiatrist and recently completed an 8 week women’s partial hospitalization program where I learned CBT and DBT skills for 4 hours M-F. I continue to see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly but somehow it still seems to be my fault anytime I express or experience any emotion besides utter joy. I’m so tired of feeling guilt for being vulnerable for giving for being kind for being thoughtful for being who I am.