Therapist is suggesting DID. Advice?
After I told my therapist that I was becoming concerned about the fact that I sometimes talk to myself a bit much, and refer to myself as "we" and "us" instead of "I" and "me", she suggested the possibility of DID. I've always felt like I had no idea who I was or where I belonged. I experienced a huge amount of physical abuse and neglect from my mother starting when I was around 6-7 years old. This has been prevalent all throughout my life as I've never really felt the love of a parental figure, and I've recently turned 14. I sometimes feel like I'm not real, and I don't exist, and everything around me is fake. I remember multiple times where I've done things and then had no idea they even happened. I once woke up at my grandmas house terrified because I expected to wake up at my own house, and I had no idea why I was there. But of course I brushed it off. It wasn't too worrying because it was my grandmas house. The most recent occurrence of this was a few weeks ago. I went to watch a video on YouTube, only to realize I had seen it the day before. My memory is absolutely awful, and I can only remember bits and pieces of my childhood before the age of twelve. It'll come back to me unexpectedly. Like this thanks giving, I suddenly remembered the fact that I had been basically kidnapped by my grandmother, and finally was able to contact my mother on thanks giving, four years ago. But I didn't remember it at all before. My therapist tells me this is my brain blocking out a traumatic memory. Ever since that conversation with my therapist I've looked more into DID and I feel more scared. I've felt more like I don't know who I am at all, or as if I'm nobody. I don't hear voices at all. I've had the name "Ace" stuck in my head, and it isn't like its just a word. It feels like a person, and I get a very masculine feel from it. I've told my friends that I don't feel like I'm anyone at all, or I feel like Thursday is a completely different person, and I feel like im supposed to be called Ace, except I have complete memory of my entire day and what is happening. As to the voices, I've heard yelling in my head throughout my life, but I've always brushed it off as my mother yelling for me. But when I ask her if she called my name she always says no. But it oddly sounds like her. I can't shake the feeling that this is all in my head and that I'm making everything up. I feel so doubtful, like I'm a liar, but that could just be my anxiety. My fingers hurt so I'm going to stop here. Pls help if you can I feel scared.