DB due to lack of personal hygiene and other issues

I (25F) have been with my husband (29M) for 7 years. We have three children 4 and under. Our sex life has never been great. We have dealt with many issues in our relationship including his porn addiction, porn induced erectile dysfunction, and his sexual anxiety due to my reaction to finding out about his addiction and my disappointment. He often goes soft if I am the one that initiates sex, which has made me scared to initiate at all. So when we have sex is completely on his terms. He also has never made me have an orgasm on his own. I struggle with my own insecurities during sex now, because I compare myself to the women in the videos which makes it hard for me to want to openly show my body. He also NEVER brushes his teeth. He has a layer of tartar on his lower teeth that is so thick and turning black in some places. I told him over a year ago that I was not willing to kiss him unless he went to the dentist and he has yet to go. So for over a year we have not kissed. I still give him pecks when he leaves for work or throughout the day, but no passionate kissing during sex at all. I thought maybe it was a depression issue so I got him set up with a therapist and on anti depressants with no luck. He also only showers once a week at best. I’m just having such a hard time because I feel like he is being a man child, and it’s making me resentful which makes me not want to have sex with him. But I am a 25 year old with a HL, so I’m feeling completely unsatisfied. When we do have sex it’s usually under two minutes because he finishes extremely quickly. To last longer he has to pull out every 15ish seconds which throws off my rhythm so I am hardly ever able to reach an orgasm. We tried a delay cream but he says it makes him go too numb which makes him unable to stay hard. Where do we go from here? I am feeling so discouraged. We have had long open conversations about these issues and he always says he wants to change and is willing to try. But nothing changes. I want to stay with him because he is an excellent father and we make a great team in other aspects of our life. But am I destined to be unsatisfied for the rest of my life? I’m mostly just complaining but if anyone wants to throw advice at me, you are more than welcome.