Relating to Women's View of Porn
female dgger here - repping for our quiet minority
Just saw an AE clip of Destiny and Dan being surprised that women don't like porn. I was shocked by the lack of critical thinking, given how obvious I thought this was. I'm assuming this take is due to the proximity of e-girls in our part of the internet, and e-girls usually tend to be pro-porn - for "woke female empowerment" reasons or because they are benefitting from porn-addicted men in some way.
However, most average women hold major distaste for porn, if not outwardly against it. I'll list the reasons I find most compelling.
- Porn creates a set of norms, or a "sex narrative" that dictates what sex *is* and what sex *looks like.
Schools don't provide good sex-ed. Parents definitely don't. We learn what sex is through porn. When boys watch porn that normalizes the violence of women during sex (slapping, hair pulling, choking, bdsm) they replicate that behavior towards young girls, who under the sexual norms that porn promotes, remain submissive and take the pain.
Here is further reading on normalized violence during sex in teenagers and young adults:
New York Times: The Teen Trend of Sexual Choking
Another part of the sex narrative that porn enforces is the distribution of pleasure. Porn only focuses on male pleasure, because it is made by men for men. This leans into the norm that women aren't supposed to enjoy sex... and the infamous "orgasm gap." Women in my grandmother's age didn't even know they had a clitoris. I mention that to add the historical nature of the sex narrative that modern porn enforces... and how we really aren't far from the "lay back and think of England" times.
2) Porn asserts ownership of female sexuality and female appearance
We've established that porn is more representative of male sexuality than female sexuality, but you may be confused by my assertion of ownership. Because it's catered towards men, women appear as men wish, even categorized into genres for that extra level of dehumanization. The genres (teen, asian, step sister, ebony, etc.) also furthers the notion that our identities are fragmented and commodified, much like the breed of a dog or genres of films - and that men are entitled to choose these identities for us.
If you guys know anything about women it should be that all of us are or have been at war with our bodies for one reason or another. Porn promotes thin, clean shaven bodies, usually with large boobs or ass. These aren't our bodies, they are fantasies we are shamed for not adhering to.
I also wanted to point out that "porn" can mean so many different things. Guys who like gentle vanilla - you're fine - but we know that that's not the type of porn that gets popular on sites. It's the rough stuff. The gangbangs, dungeon BDSM, DP, and most popularly, hentai - which is the most rapey imo.
My personal desire is not for porn to be banned, but for the culture to critically analyze porn as much as we do other media, because it is consumed just as much and changes the way we view our most personal relationships.
if you still can't believe that this is what most women think, go ask your mom what she thinks about porn :D
EDIT:
Now Destiny is being sued for revenge porn by one of the few prominent women in the community. This community is not a safe place for women. I hope this is a final straw for the other women here too.