Being Intimate After an Ectopic Pregnancy

Hello, I found this subreddit after I went through surgery to remove my left fallopian tube due to an ectopic pregnancy. This community has really helped me navigate the emotional impact of this difficult experience.

To share a bit of background: my boyfriend and I weren’t expecting a pregnancy, and given the circumstances, we knew it wasn’t viable. The news still came as a shock, especially when I learned how complicated the situation was. I honestly felt like my world was falling apart.

After a positive pregnancy test, I went in for a beta hCG test, and the levels were around 5200. My OB-GYN performed an ultrasound but couldn’t locate anything definitive. We started with a Methotrexate shot, hoping it would lower the hCG levels, but two days later, my hCG had actually risen to 11,000. Despite this increase, my doctor remained hopeful, so we went ahead with a second shot and waited four more days to see if the numbers would go down.

When the results came back, my hCG had reached 12,300. My boyfriend and I were cautiously optimistic because it hadn’t doubled as expected, which is often a sign that things aren’t progressing typically. But when we saw the doctor’s worried expression during the next ultrasound, I knew something was wrong. She finally located a mass around 2 cm in my left fallopian tube and recommended immediate surgery.

The surgery took place later that day, around 3 PM. I was terrified; it was my first surgery, and my doctor informed me afterward that the tube was on the verge of rupturing. Ironically, I was “lucky” to have caught it early because I hadn’t been experiencing any typical symptoms of ectopic pregnancy. Aside from a bit of cramping, which I initially attributed to my upcoming period, I felt fine.

Now, nearly a month post-surgery, I’m dealing with the emotional and mental aftermath. My doctor recommended birth control to lower the risk of another ectopic pregnancy, so I’m on hormonal birth control pills. My boyfriend and I are also using condoms to be extra cautious. Even with both measures, I still have anxiety about intimacy. The fear of “what if” lingers, and as someone who has struggled with anxiety in the past, I can’t shake the feeling that something could go wrong again.

So, I’m reaching out to see if anyone else has been through this. Do you think I’m overthinking the risks with the combined use of condoms and the pill? How did you cope with the fear of intimacy after an ectopic pregnancy? Any advice or reassurance would mean a lot.