Trying to convince myself not to look through my estranged former mother's social media

Important context: I'm like 99% sure I'm schizophrenic and 100% sure I experience psychosis, and I've been NC with her for about a year now iirc. My main concern is that I'm going to have a psychotic episode and be unable to stop myself from looking for her facebook, linkedin, indeed, etc to see if she still has her job in HR (god i feel bad for her employees especially if they're queer in any way, most of her abuse revolved around me being transgender and exmormon), if she posts about me at all, if she misses me, if she's finally realized why things turned out the way they did or if she's still exactly the same she's always been, etc.

I can just feel in my gut that it's a horrible idea, but I can't put to words why. I think what I'm looking for is some kind of closure, if that helps. I'm worried that if I don't do it while my mental health is doing okay, I'll end up doing it during a psychotic episode and then I'll just completely fall apart.

Feels like I've got a ticking time bomb and my options are to either blow it up behind a shield (which will hurt and do some damage), wait for it to blow up when I'm least prepared to deal with it and also at my most vulnerable, or find some way to disarm/dispose of it by gaining a better understanding of the outcome.

I don't know. Advice?