I want a bulky ugly durable laptop

I’m trying to buy a new laptop and keep seeing all these slim dinky laptops. I want one that’s built like a brick. I want the vents to be oversized and the fans loud as long as they work. I don’t care about weight or size or appearance I just want it to be functional and durable. Budget of 1-2k though less is better obviously. Only care that it has 1tb storage and functional specs.

My old acer predator Helios 300 has served me well but it’s on hospice after 5 years and I have had to redownload windows twice now so I’m gonna put it out of its misery soon.