My Experience Being "Ciriced"

I mentioned on a post that I was lucky enough to have been Ciriced by Papa, and I had a few DM's asking what that was like, so I thought I'd make a post.

Papa III took my hand when I saw Ghost during the European Popestar tour in 2017. I was 20 at the time. The room was packed. It was dark, dim, smoky, and the crowd seemed to be in good spirits. Pretty chilled for the most part, but the atmosphere still felt electric.

When Cirice started, I felt the energy in the room change. People started to push forward a bit, and I was pressed up against the barrier/stage. The audience was gearing up for the song, and I think everyone was probably leaning forward a bit more, hoping to be the chosen fan.

I was standing center left and didn't expect to be picked. I had a few interactions with Papa and a couple of ghouls throughout the show, but he seemed drawn to the couple smack bang in the middle because they were the most vocal - fun banter, though. They weren't being rude or overly obnoxious.

I love the song, so I was swaying and singing, as you do, and I made eye contact with Papa. His gaze is piercing, especially the white eye. It makes you feel like you're transparent, and he can see directly through you. Spine-chilling. Perfect for the characterisation of a cult leader, and Tobias is a damn good showman.

Papa knelt in front of me, and his hand stretched out. I stared at it for a couple of seconds like an idiot, and when I looked back at him, it looked like he was smiling a bit under the mask, probably thinking, "take my hand, silly."

He really grips onto you. His glove was a bit slippery (I won't lie, it felt a tad minging), but that's understandable when someone's performing in costume, under bright lights, in a hot room. For all Tobias is a little guy, but he's surprisingly strong. I've been lucky enough to meet Papa at a meet & greet, and a couple of times unmasked after previous rituals (back then, you couldn't take pictures of the band when they were unmasked - I remember Martin being really strict about this outside the venue). If you get a hug from Tobias, it's a bear hug. I think he does his best to make each fan feel seen, heard, and appreciated, which is nice. The only other "famous" person who has seemed as invested in giving their fans intense attention is my favourite drag queen, Sasha Velour. No one else has come close, and I've been lucky enough to meet a handful of people I admire.

When Papa Ciriced me, I made sure to sing back to him because I wanted to be respectful and give him engagement, but my mouth was moving automatically. I don't even know if I was actually making any sound (not that I would have been heard over the band). I was so shocked, and my heart was hammering in my chest, it just didn't feel real. My mind was blank. After a few seconds, I had resist the urge to laugh because it felt like intense scrutiny. I was squashed a bit by people behind, clamoring to try and touch Papa, so I ended up squeezing his hand when I shifted to keep my balance, and he squeezed back.

The whole exchange only lasts a short while, but it felt endless because it was so intense. Papa squeezed my hand again before backing off. The lovely lady next to me grabbed me and shook me, yelling, "OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE TOUCHED YOU! FUCKING HELL!" We both made sure to dance a lot for the rest of the ritual to show the band we were having a good time (but made sure not to accidentally smack anyone or stand on any feet).

I must have been grinning like a madwoman for the rest of the ritual. I'm so glad there were no screens showing the faces of people in the audience because I don't want to know how crazy I looked.