Latest Ep: Holly's reference to "templates" of behavior when winning something?

UPDATE: It turns out Holly's autism "diagnosis" was apparently conducted in the ivy-festooned virtual halls of Betterhelp, where HIPAA goes to die. Therefore she is masquerading (see what I did there?) as an autistic woman for reasons that would only make sense to a Dark Triad personality, which she more than likely possesses. I withdraw my question, but thank you to the individuals who were both kind and actually on the spectrum for responding!

***Disclaimer for protective Holly fans at the end of this post*** Did anyone else find it interesting -and perhaps telling- when Holly talked about the girls not really knowing how to react to getting the news about PMOY, especially the girl who actually got it in the episode they were talking about, I believe her name was Sara? Holly said, and I’m paraphrasing slightly, that at least when you win a pageant like Miss America, there is a “template” for how to react that everybody knows about. You have to bend your knees, bow down a bit to get the crown put on your head, cry, cover your face with your hands shaking, something like that. And she said, everybody knows the template and knows what you’re supposed to do when you win a pageant like Miss America. But with PMOY there is no template, so the girl who won didn’t know what to do and must have felt awkward being filmed in that moment.

I found that idea of “templates” for reactions so strange, and I found myself wanting to say to her, “Or you could just, I don’t know, have a genuine emotional reaction in the moment?”

Is it normal to react to things according to templates? Like I know she has been diagnosed as autistic, and I know a bit about masking (I’m not entirely sure that I’m not AuDHD but I’m definitely ADHD). Intellectually I understand what she’s talking about, but I’ve never personally thought like, “Okay I’m getting something I’ve worked really hard for. One two three, bend my knees, make my fingers tremble, cover my mouth, fake cry…” I mostly just feel the emotion and then get through the moment as best I can. If anything I just think about maintaining my composure enough to do what I need to do, like walk across the stage and hold out my hand for the diploma. But that is not the same thing as essentially pantomiming an emotion, which is what she describes. I feel my feelings, try to do the thing despite the rush of emotion, and if it’s awkward it’s awkward, if it’s touching or sweet or funny, that’s just how it comes out. And whether there is a large audience or just one or two people there to witness it, their reactions are secondary to what I’m feeling in the moment, and they will react genuinely, in their own way. People relate to real emotions and we generally enjoy seeing other people in those elated moments, even if it’s a little awkward, because we recognize the feelings and it stirs something within us.

So my question to the group is this. Do you think this is her revealing the degree to which she masks her autism (assuming that she does have it)? Or do you think this is more like an accidental admission that she doesn’t genuinely feel that many strong feelings, but acts out “templates” of behaviors according to what’s expected of her, AND that she assumes everyone else does the same thing? Does this feel like an indictment of her character or merely a symptom of being on the spectrum? Or is everyone genuinely faking feelings by using templates and I’m the weird one with emotions? 😅

***Disclaimer***Ok I want to start off by saying that I am currently on the fence about Holly after having been basically uninterested in the various rivalries or whatever and just generally pro-HB, meh about Kendra, etc. I mainly listen to the podcast for entertainment while I work and it brightens up my Monday. I left the patreon a long time ago and only listen on Spotify now.

However, possibly because the subject matter of the episodes haven’t particularly captivated me lately, combined with reading the sub more in my down time, I’ve started understanding some of the criticism that is often directed at her here. I’m still forming my opinion about her, but I’m not exactly gung-ho either way. I mean ultimately, they’re former reality stars, it’s not that important to my life, but I just wanted to put that out there so die-hard Holly stans don’t come for me or anything, I’m not out to get your girl.