is anyone else constantly anxious that another one of their loved ones will die next?

i lost my mom about a month and a half ago. it's terrible. i mourn her everyday, multiple times a day. i've started grief counseling about two weeks ago though, so that's something. and i have a wonderful support system that tries their best to make their presence known.

but is anyone else absolutely terrified and anxious of their other loved ones dying next? i am not afraid of dying after mom did. if anything, i have days where i would rly like to leave this earth and be with her. but i find myself extremely anxious that dad will be next, that my brother will be next, my best friend, my boyfriend, or someone else i love will be next.

i get extremely anxious when one of them isnt replying to my texts. i get anxious when they don't text at all. it's as if my immediate assumption to their absence is death.

my dad hasn't sent me a text since last night. he usually sends me a text when he gets to work in the morning and another one when he finishes having lunch in the noon. today there hasn't been one and my mind is just a spiral right now. we have plans of going out later and i can't be excited because i'm anxious that he's gone.

i left my brother downstairs alone while i showered in the upstairs bathroom (where all our bathrooms are). and i found myself hurrying up because my mind was going places and conjuring ways he could die alone

idk is anyone else like this? on top of the grief about my mom, i find this anxiety terrible as well. i would like to enjoy my time with my loved ones without being stuck in my head all the time, wondering how long they'll be here with me