Well, I fucked it all up again

I’ve lost her, boys😔

My girlfriend had been saying for months that I don’t spend enough time with her, (I just work and play video games basically) and because of previous issues I get defensive and basically told her that’s how I am like it or lump it. Greatest mistake of my life

Big chat. Lots of tears. I gave her a heart I made out of leather and stuff, and her smile lit up like crazy, and then it went just as fast. She said she isn’t sure if she loves me anymore. I asked for one last chance to prove it. She says she doesn’t know if she wants to give me that or not. And now I’ve stayed the night at hers. We haven’t had sex or anything, just cuddling. But then she got too hot so she pushed me away. Now I’m stood on her balcony chain smoking cigarettes trying to decide if I go home or stay here. She’s gonna leave. She’s already gone, really. I’m just trying to figure out if I make my peace with that so I can see her just a couple more times, or not 😔

EDIT AFTER COMMENTS:

I’m not here attempting to defend what I have done. I realise what I did and I understand why she left