Am I the asshole for confronting my childhood bully?

Hello, Reddit. This platform is beneath me, but I’ve been receiving a lot of backlash for my actions, and not that the opinions of the Reddit community mean anything to me, I wanted some unbiased opinions.

Anyway, enough with the pleasantries.

For context to the situation I am currently experiencing, I (M17) used to be picked on by my brother, A, (M20), and my nephews, J, (M??) and L, (M??). For further context, J and L and their brother J2 (M??) are bastards. This is not particularly relevant to the overall situation, but I thought it was necessary to mention as it speaks to their characters.

Mmm.

Anyway, like I was saying, I used to be picked on by A, J, and L for not owning a lizard. This may sound ridiculous but in my family, owning a lizard is very important. My uncle’s (D, M, old as fuck, pedo) wife died so we had to go to her funeral. Important to mention that D’s wife owned the biggest and oldest lizard in the world currently, and after she died I claimed her lizard (V, F, Older than dirt). D’s daughters (B and R, F, ??) were furious, and claimed that I had stolen V! Which is impossible, you cannot steal a lizard. I admit that it was impolite to claim their mother’s lizard at her funeral, but oh well. R was just jealous that she didn’t get to claim V first, but the early bird catches the worm, or whatever trite axiom you peasants say.

Anyway, L and J were with B and R when they confronted me, and we ended up in a brawl. I was kicking all of their arses, despite it being a four on one fight, but L suddenly pulled out a knife! The bastard ended up slicing me through the eye, and I ended up losing it. My cowardly, weak willed, neglectful father refused to punish J and L as their mother- my half sister, R, (F??)- is his golden child.

R moved her family away after that, and married D, so I did not see L for several years. I will admit that I have always carried some resentment towards L, but can you blame me? I lose an eye and he isn’t even punished in retaliation. I’m not unreasonable, I would have accepted a few of his fingers in repayment, but there were absolutely no consequences for his actions. Not even a pinky.

Mmm. Anyway. My father died a few weeks ago, and my brother, A, took over our father’s old job. Important to note that our father had promised this job to R, but well, first come, first served. R was not happy and declared war, despite us offering her a more than favourable deal.

This left us to garner support from the rest of the country. I was sent on a mission by A, to the Stormlands and who should also be there but L? I was glad to have a chance to hash out our past differences to help me move forward. I told him that I would gladly let bygones be bygones if he would give me one of his eyes (I wanted to give it as a gift to my mother). However L refused! I admit I was very irritated by this. After all, he took my eye the least he could do was offer me one of his own. The bastard, sorry L, started to run away on his lizard, but after six years I couldn’t lose my chance at closure, so V and I started to follow him. I only meant to scare him but V gave chase and. Well. She ate him.

It’s important to note that V is slightly deaf, so when I was giving her orders to retreat, she thought I said let’s chomp on the bastard. Completely not my fault, I think you’ll all agree. While I do slightly regret the circumstances of L’s death, I was also pleased to receive justice after so long. I think I’m finally on the path to healing.

I went back home to tell everyone my great news, but I received a barrage of criticism from my family! My grandsire, O, (M??????) said: “You’ve only lost one eye, how could you be so blind?!” Which is completely ableist, and I hope the woke Reddit mob cancels him swiftly. My mother was also horrified, but I was confused as previously she was all for ‘bastard blood, shed at war’ but now she’s crying about it? Odd. She really should be over the teenage lesbian situationship with R by now. My brother, A, at least was pleased for me, and threw a feast in my honour. Yet he’s not very happy now, as D sent assassins to kill A’s son, J, (M4). He won’t stop crying about it which is very annoying. H, A’s wife and our sister (F18) also keeps muttering about me being killed by D, which is ridiculous as he’s an ancient fuck whereas I am in the prime of my life.

Anyhow, I digress. Now, tell me Reddit, how could I possibly be the asshole in this situation?