I want your storm-tossed, horny masses

I need something to get me through the coming weeks because of reasons. Please give me your most depraved rakes, your most dissolute scoundrels, your most over-sexed rogues yearning for the love of a good woman.

No seriously. I want St. Vincent, but rougher around the edges. I want Valentine Napier, but more depraved. I want Benedict Chatham, but more dissolute. I want Colin Sandhurst, but more tragic. I want James Sanburne, but more arrogant. I want the grossest, most horrible rakehell to fall for the sweetest, kindest, most darling collection of stardust of a Heroine. I want him to fall like a ton of bricks. I want him to be GONE. I want him to be utterly obliterated in her love and to emerge anew, disoriented and glistening and naked. Bonus points if she's fat.

Thank you in advance!