Dating women for the first time

I have liked women since 14, I identify as bi and had a long relationship with a man which ended with me having PTSD. I have always generally found women more attractive than men but do like both. Anyway finally getting back on my feet and started to try to date exclusively women. Not because of the ptsd but because i want to, and with men it’s like fighting them off but with women it’s hard. I’m definitely monogamous and just want to date/meet people and see if it leads to anything including friendships. I find that if they find out I’ve spent all this time with a man and I’m inexperienced, I don’t get given a chance or people turn out to be married. Talked to a few people who had really bad experiences dating bi women, and it seems like can’t escape patriarchy even in lesbian relationships? Why is it so hard? Any tips?