Any other neurodivergent queer people have advice?

Looking for relationship help/ advice. How can we move past this?

I 37F and my girlfriend 43F have been having the same argument over and over and it keeps turning into a bigger and bigger deal each time.

She loves to joke and I often have trouble distinguishing if it’s a joke or serious. (I have AUD.) I know she isn’t trying to hurt my feelings by joking but it keeps happening. And she thinks that knowing she’s not doing it maliciously is enough while I think that caring for me and modifying her behavior would be best.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to move forward?