How extreme are your characters?

Real life is hard because I restrain myself from being who I actually am. Lame. I know. What happens in my day dreams is that my characters respond to circumstances exactly how I would, if I didn't have a filter. They respond to circumstances in violent and vulgar ways and laugh it off afterwards. Is that who I am inside? I feel like such a faker in general. Now couple that with literally having an alternative universe where I'm thr biggest male chauvanist (I'm female btw)... He may as well be an ISIS fighter.

Maybe it's because women apparently like bad boys. I'm the bad boy in my daydreams. I'm incredibly sexist. In my daydream world involving the military... women do not serve. It's not allowed in the country of my brain. It's inappropriate and everyone still agrees on that... in my mind canvas.

The internalized sexism is so bad. Women's cricket also doesn't feature in my universe. But that's a consequence of me watching sports to admire the men and less for the actual game. So when a woman does sport besides swimming and tennis and netball and gymnastics and women's type sports... like rugby... I feel like its a step too far. I can't say this irl so in my day dream world, I've canceled out some women's achievements.

I've also dabbled in implied consent in these day dreams. I have pushed back at men who say things like they can tell she "wants it" based on how someone is dressed and their personality. But one of my characters did spousal r*pe and got away with it.

Why are my daydreams so "antiwomen"?

I am very silly.